It turns out that India/being abroad is not a total walk in the park (woah! no way!). I wanted to step outside my comfort zone, and thus I am uncomfortable.
Things that are difficult:
1) Slum Children -- Turns out that I don't deal well with small kids begging. I definitely saw this coming, but it's still heartbreaking. And these adorable kids are everywhere... Majorly sad day.
2) Gender Dynamics -- Never in my life have I considered my femaleness to be a hinderance--or even particularly relevant, for that matter. And I have never allowed anyone to tell me what I can and cannot do simply on the grounds of my gender. In India, however, I am not supposed to dance in public (even when insanely loud techno music is playing in the streets for festivals), to greet strangers, to run (even though I do anyway), to go out by myself, to laugh too much, to be assertive/independent... all because I am a woman. Boo.
3) Faith -- I still don't even know how to process the myriad of world views that people believe over here. So many wonderful people, who believe so many different things....
4) Food -- At home I eat pretty simply, but all the food here is either very spicy or sickly sweet. Oh granola, how I miss thee.
5) Language -- Part of me wishes that I had gone to a Spanish- or English-speaking country because not speaking/understanding even conversational Hindi or Marathi greatly limits the amount of people I can interact with here. I'm loving learning these languages, but part of me is still frustrated.
6) Home -- Ha, yea, I miss home. It did help that I had two really great conversations last night and this morning with people from home who I care about dearly. I am making some solid friendships here; it's just difficult starting over.
That being said... "Difficulties are meant to rouse, not to discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict." -William Ellery Channing
This adventure is still very much what I want. I'm being challenged in ways I never really have been before, and I'm (constantly) learning a lot. I'm trying to stay positive--because this place really is awesome, no matter how I look at it. I want to embrace the challenges that have been put before me and to work through them with both eyes open. Prayer and encouragement are always appreciated.
With love (and determination),
from India,
Jeannie
you go girl.
ReplyDeletenous pouvons le faire avec difficulte et avec de la tristesse mais avec succes
(we can do it with difficulty and some sadness but with success)
!
prayers and assent from cork! at least several of those categories are relevant to me as well...love you!
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